Another Night, Another Dance Pt 2

‘Beauty’ [Inner Thought]: *Verge of Tears* Idiot! Moron! If I had known…. Hue, where are you! If you felt that way then why…? If you told me earlier…shown me this earlier. I was impatient, I know, but… Hue….we can’t end it like this, right? I still have a chance, right? Right? You’re not done yet! Let me hear the last part from you. Please, my love.

*Heedless to the burning in her lungs, Rodessa raced through the corridors, frantically searching for her lover, her blood pounding in her ears and her mind constantly flashing to the words he had left in that letter. She had to find him. She had to.

Perhaps it was her own frenzied search that distracted her, but the hallways seemed to change in blips like a stuttering vinyl record, as if someone was skipping her through space unknowingly. She ran, panting, even as the halls twisted in a kaleidoscope of colour, blinding her before the light seemed to condense before her eyes. An indiscriminate form of holy light twisted ahead of her, leading her on, solidifying into a golden dragon. It looked back at her, staring her in the eye before shooting ahead and somehow, somehow she knew that it was trying to lead her. Lead her to Huxian.

With energy she didn’t know she had left, she picked up speed. As if wings were her feet she raced the dragon as it guided her through an empty hallway before seemingly shooting through a closed door at the end, phasing through it like a ghost.

Stumbling to a halt before she could crash straight into the wood, she held a hand to her aching chest as she panted, eyeing where the dragon had vanished. There was nothing special about the door, but there was a crack of light shining through a crack. It was occupied. Was Huxian there…? No, he had to be. She was sure of it. If she tried, she could feel him just beyond the wooden barrier.

Taking a final steadying breath, Rodessa reached out and pushed the door open, silently stepping inside.

Uncaring about the room itself, her eyes zeroed in on the man that was sitting slumped at the edge of a bed. His elbows rested on his knees and his head was bowed so that she could only just see a glint of his darkened amber eyes in the lamplight which were staring down at an elegant ring which lay in the palm of his hand. It was a sight that Rodessa didn’t think she would see in him again, as if all the burning life in the man had somehow got snuffed out. He seemed diminished, as if the weight of the world had been pressing down on his spine and he no longer hand the strength to stand.

Tired, desolate eyes closed as he sighed, curling in on himself just that little more as he raised the ring to his lips, fingers weakly curling over it as his head sunk, forehead thumping lightly against his knuckles*

Huxian: *Bleakly* Roza…

*He pulled back, uncurling his fingers once again to give it one last look, before a sigh broke from his lips and he clenched his fingers over the metal once more, tucking it away in his breast pocket before dropping his hand limply back in his lap.

Just seeing him like this broke her heart*

‘Beauty’: Hue...I...

*She paused, an odd sinking sensation in her chest. He hadn’t reacted. Not when she stepped toward him, not when her voice broke the solemn silence. Nothing. Trying to ignore the horrible chill at seeing him so unresponsive, she reached out her hand to touch him, to break him out of the grip of his melancholy, to entice some kind of reaction, but it was as if he didn’t even know she was there.

The sudden feel of something brushing against her leg broke her from the dread that had began to sink its icy talons into her heart and she jumped, her eyes shooting down to find that the golden dragon was there, brushing against her as it stepped away from Huxian, attention on something on the opposite side of the room, even as it inclined its long neck in an oddly graceful bow. Lifting her gaze, she found that they weren’t alone in the room as she had first thought. There, by the window stood a figure. A familiar figure, she realised as she looked closer.

The figure in question, noticing the attention on her, simply raised a finger to her lips, as if to ask her to remain quiet for now. Which just seemed even more strange and far more concerning that Huxian hadn’t even moved at her presence when the figure had.

‘Beauty’ [Inner Thought]: So why isn’t he responding…?

*She could only bite her tongue, however, and follow the instruction as the figure stepped forwards, attention focused on the man on the bed*

Parame: You’re home early?

Huxian: *Distantly* Hm.

Parame: Is there something wrong? Come, tell mama.

*Huxian snorted, a note bitterly, not even bothering to look up at the goddess*

Huxian: *Scoff* Why even ask? Venus and yourself are watching everything. Between the two of you, I’m sure you can figure it out.

*The woman, not phased by his tone, simply hummed, sinking down to sit beside the young man, her eyes flicking briefly towards Rodessa, almost pointedly, before she turned her attention back to Huxian once more. The silent message clear. Pay attention*

Parame: True. But I would like to hear it from my child’s own mouth.

*Huxian drew up his knees, pressing his lips against clasped hands, his eyes fixed at a distant point, as if to avoid looking the Elder in the eye*

Huxian: I...I wouldn’t ask for details about what you can see in the future...for her and I...but...may I...ask one thing?

Parame: *Eyes Flickering Excitedly* Of course, though it depends on your question as to what I can answer. Remember, there are as many futures as their are outcomes - and the outcomes depend on the choices made. The outcome here depends on your choices, my dear. Knowing that, ask.

*For a moment, Huxian was silent, eyes closed as if working up the courage. Finally, he spoke, voice quiet, almost a whisper*

Huxian: Will she...still want me, after all this? When this chapter of our lives is over, I-

Parame: Don’t you already know the answer?

Huxian: *Curling a little more* But, I-

Parame: If you are still uncertain, perhaps this might reassure you.

*The sharp snap of the goddess’ fingers was loud as a whip crack, and it was almost as if something had shattered. He flinched slightly at the sound, only to freeze. That scent...a subtle, but familiar scent teased his senses. He knew that scent. Heart in his throat, Huxian, stiltedly, turned to look, eyes widening. There, kneeling in front of him, her head resting against his thigh, sinking warmth into the chilled limb as her fingers clenched his pant leg, was Rodessa. Slowly, so slowly, she raised her head to look at him. Her mask was gone, leaving him staring into shimmering silver eyes, reddened by the tears welling within them. She was trembling. Why...why was she trembling…?

On instinct, he reached out to her, touching her face as if expecting for it to be an illusion that would shatter like light on a water’s surface if disturbed. But even as his hand brushed her cheek, she didn’t vanish. She was there. Her palm closed over his hand, pressing it against her cheek, nuzzling into the skin with a shuddering sigh as his thumb ran over the damp skin, brushing away the tears that leaked from her closed eyes. His palm felt hot against her skin, but she clng on tight, not wanting his touch to leave, to retract once again into that numb unresponsive self.

Swallowing, Huxian’s eyes shot back to Parame, but all he caught was her smile as the scattering light took her away, leaving the two alone. Mouth suddenly dry, his eyes trailed back to Rodessa once again. Seeing her looking up at him, he smiled weakly*

Huxian: *Voice cracking a little* You...you really have bad taste in men...you know that?

Rodessa: *Mumble* ...The worst…

*He couldn’t help but snort slightly at that*

Rodessa: ...Why didn’t you tell me before…?

Huxian: It’s not always easy to speak when it feels like the moment you do everything with crash and burn...Sometimes, the enemy in the mind is stronger than any on the battlefield. I said my reasons in the letter, but I think in the end, what stopped me from telling you was fear. Fear that if I said something, it would all be stolen away. I...I don’t think I’d survive another loss, Roza…

*He swallowed, unsur if he had ever voiced that crack in his consciousness before, that fragility. But somehow, staring into her eyes like this, he couldn’t bring himself to try to hide it*

Huxian: My feelings were a mess. I couldn’t see around what was right for you and what was just pure selfishness on my part.

Rodessa: *Angry* Dumbass! Will you stop blaming yourself for every little thing! *Gentle* You did nothing wrong.

Huxian: Heh…Feelings aren’t logical, I’m afraid. And it’s hard to break old habits. In the end, I thought that, if I said nothing, it would protect you from what seemed like a curse that took everything I cared for away from me...only to figure out that, in my own density, it was I who was hurting you, instead of protecting you. But then, I’ve always been the biggest of fools…

*His thumb brushed her skin once more, his own eyes bright with unshed tears*

Huxian: Knowing that...knowing that I was the cause of all of it, I couldn’t just say nothing. Even if….even if in the end you still walked away, at least you’d know that it was never your fault. And you would at least have the answers you were looking for, even if this stupid coward could never open his mouth and speak.

So...now you know...My heart was laid bear for you to see, no matter how rotten it is. *Closing his eyes* I...I don’t know if the answers were what you wanted, but...for what it’s worth...I meant every word. The one who means more to me than anything, who I can never forget, is with me here, at this moment.

*Standing, Rodessa half crawled onto the bed, pushing the man back against the covers, concern shining in her eyes as she swallowed, nibbling her lip as she looked to the side, trying to figure out how to put the jumble of thoughts into words without it becoming another terrible misunderstanding*

Rodessa: ….

Huxian: ….

Rodessa: ...Those words...the ones you didn’t say in the letter. Can you say the to me now…? Please?

*For a moment, Huxian could only stare up at her, dumbfounded. Of all the reactions he had expected, he hadn’t been expecting this one. It felt as though his heart skipped a beat in his chest as the weight of what she was asking finally crashed into his mind.

Huxian [Inner Thought]: Is...it was that easy…? Is...is that all she desires…? Truely?

Huxian: I...I could say them….but I don’t know if they would put your mind...your heart at ease. Somehow, I think it might even...cheepen the feelings I have, make it sound contrived if I said them now. But...I hope that this will suffice

*He reached up to her, cupping her cheeks in his hands as he stared into her eyes, so she could see the sincerity of his words*

Huxian: Until the day I die and beyond...you are the one who will hold my heart.

*Before the girl could respond, she suddenly found herself flipped, her back pressing against the bed and Huxian hovering over her. Wordlessly, she reached up to him, intent on dragging him closer, only for Huxian to catch her hand first, pressing his lips against it before guiding it around his neck, pulling her up so that she was sitting in his lap, staring in to his amber eyes, warmed with the utmost sincerity.

Butterflies fluttering in her stomach, she nudged her forehead against his, rubbing her nose against his and felt her heart jump at his unconscious but heartfelt smile. He could see her eyes, glittering like stars, a sparkle that had seemed snuffed out for so long shimmering there as she gazed at him and Huxian hadn’t realised until that very moment how much he had missed it.*

Huxian [Inner Thought]: I’d forgotten...I’d forgotten that she has always been her most happiest when it was the two of us. As long as we were together, so long as I needed her as she did me, she had everything she wanted. She never cared about the things I did in the past, or how terrible I could be. She never cared that I thought I was cursed. All she cared about, right from the start, was me…

*His fingers traced over the soft skin of her cheeks, an almost helpless smile crossing his lips*

Huxian [Inner Thoughts]: So long as her desire is me...I’m her happiness, right? Her smile - this precious smile - is mine to treasure. I will. I promise, I-

Rodessa: Hue…

*Breaking from his thoughts, he took in Rodessa, who seemed oddly fidgety. For a moment, he wondered what was wrong - until that enticing scent, stronger than before, reached his nose and it clicked in his mind what the problem was. His smile widened, even as her cheeks seemed to darken, obviously realising he had clued into her predicament*

Huxian [Inner Thoughts]: Ah yes...that scent that was making those horny mutts turn rabbid. So faint around them, and yet, for me, it’s practically intoxicating...I...I want to...to...Wait! No. Behave. Still...such a beautiful mess beneath me...in that dress...it’s practically an open invitation...isn’t it?

Huxian: Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Kariudo?

Rodessa: N-no, well… maybe... um.. Eep! What are you-?

Huxian: I’m not hearing a no...Then again, that dress is practically screaming yes.

Rodessa: *Blush* P-Pervert!!!

Huxian: *Grin* Oh? You wound me, my lady. Well, if that really is the case, that scent of yours is terribly misleading. Still, if that is your wish, then I’ll do my gentlemanly duty and happily escort you back to the-

Rodessa: *Head down and cheeks burning* Leave me in this state, Fluffball, and I’ll kill you!

*Laughter springing to his lips, true and bright as he pulled her closer again, Huxian felt almost as though his shattered soul had somehow snapped back into place*

Huxian: *Eyes half lidded* As you wish, my lady.

[END]

Another Night, Another Dance

‘Stranger’: My lady, we’re out of time for tonight.

‘Beauty’: Seems so. So, the me-

‘Stanger’: I will not be delivering the letter to you this night, I’m afraid

‘Beauty’: Why? Are you not a messenger?

‘Stranger’: *Smirk* You’ll be attending all three nights of the ball, correct?

‘Beauty’: Yes, but-

‘Stranger’: Until then, my lady.

*With a new day came another dance. The evening was still young as Huxian stalked the halls. Unlike how he usually carried himself and how his presence usually drew the eye of those around him, Huxian was mostly a ghost flitting amongst the crowds, cloaking his presence in anonymity. Ironically, it seemed the inverted colour scheme he currently adopted seemed to only help with that, making him seem like any other pampered aristocrat.  

With the ace that was his conjured friend - the dragon yet again unseen by all but him - he once again managed to locate Rodessa and he couldn’t help but notice the deja vu in the situation he found her in. Yet again, she was surrounded by a rowdy crowd all vying for the extremely disinterested beauty’s attention, while she looked as though she desperately wanted to be anywhere else under the dull facade. There was something else, however, something different to the last time. There was a scent there, faint, subtle yet familiar. Too familiar. No wonder the crowds seemed even more focused than before. Unlike last time, however, the result of inaction would be dangerous. He had to move quickly.

Letting his lips settle into a smirk, he pressed forwards, slipping through the crowds, allowing the natural shifting to carry him forwards. As he stepped towards the front, Rodessa’s eyes locked onto him her lips, which had been curving slightly into a smile quickly hidden behind a fan. Elegantly, she held her hand out to him expectantly and, with a bow, he took it.

Now to get her away from her ‘rabid fans’.

Making sure to shield Rodessa from what he would do, he flared a fraction of his power, enough to cause the men to flinch - which was enough of a distraction for Huxian, presence fully locked once again, to guide her away from them. Though he could feel her hand trembling in his own, she kept her head high and steps sure as they slipped through the crowds*

Huxian [Inner Thoughts]: Good girl. Keep your composure. We’re almost there, Roza.

*She managed to keep herself together until finally they had slipped out onto the balcony. He gave her a moment, letting the lack of people and the soothing evening air help to calm her somewhat before he finally spoke, keeping his voice soft to avoid further stressing her.*

‘Stranger’: Are you alright?

‘Beauty’: I-I’m fine. It will pass.

‘Stanger’: You’re sure?

‘Beauty’: *Snap* I-I said I’m fine!

*Her breath was shaky, ragged, though whether she was expecting him to act in the same way as the men from before or because she was trying everything to keep control over the scent was anyone’s guess. Huxian hoped it was the latter rather than the former. The idea of doing something like that here and in that manner made his skin crawl. Not only would it be unworthy of both of them, but the chance of a scandal that would stain her reputation was an extremely high risk. Not to mention it would be agony to clear up later on, if they could even manage to do such a thing.

But more than that, the fact she held her hand clutched to her chest, the other gripping the railings as if it were a lifeline...he never wanted her to fear him. Or feel as if they’d both lack control. Whatever it was, she practically spat out her complaints*

‘Beauty’: Damn horny bastards! It's like walking in a cloud of aphrodisiacs… gods help me.

‘Stranger’: Well...to be fair, you are tempting with your beauty, even without the sweet scent that draws hungry men in.

*She looked up at him, her eyes practically screaming of want, even though the mask hid the rest it, no matter how much she seemed to also hate the feeling. She body trembled slightly, drawing his attention. The gown she wore fit her frame perfectly, leaving just enough for the imagination and for a hand or two to slip in- no. He shook himself mentally. No. He was far better than those dogs inside and he would not take advantage of her like that. He would keep his distance for now.

Instead, he offered her a look of sympathy, focusing more on her ragged breaths and strain-trembling limbs.

‘Stranger’: Is it that bad?

‘Beauty’: *Snap* The hell do you think!

‘Stranger’: *Chuckle* I could help, if you like?

‘Beauty’: *Quiet Pant* Not on your life! I...mng!...U-until tomorrow, I’m still an involved woman! Don’t you think- Nh Ah! Dammit, body! Calm down...calm down. Need to...Need to get a room.

‘Stranger’: As you wish.

‘Beauty’: ...huh?

*Before the girl could voice anything further, be it rebuttal or ascent, she was in the ‘stranger’s’ arms and  the scenery had changed from the balcony into an overly established room. Next she noticed herself being slowly lowered into a bed, the ‘stranger’s’ hand gently cupping her chin. Then, the gentle feel of fingers as her mask was removed, his own slowly following.*

‘Stanger’: What a wondrous sight.

‘Beauty’: ...What are you intending to do?

‘Stranger’: Nothing. Not unless you wish it, My love.

*At those words, realisation dawned, her eyes widening as she stared at the man, whose lips quirked into a sad smile, though he left the disguise as it was. He had no intention of changing that. Not yet. Even so, he knew that Rodessa understood who it was without him needing to. She always was clever that way*

‘Beauty’: What...why? Hue-

*Resting a finger against her lips to cut off her words, Huxian shook his head, unable to keep the melancholy from his tone as he spoke*

‘Stranger’: Shhhh...I am but a noble, a lover until the sun rises. Nothing more...nothing more…

*Brushing her cheek with a hand, Huxian leaned closer, giving her the change to move away or push him back if she wished to refuse. However, there was no refusal in her as she pulled him closer, lips parting in welcome as their mouths connected, eyes slipping closed. Even so, he could feel her trembling under him, making him open his eyes. His heart twisted as he noticed the furrow of her brow, the stream of tears. A hollow ache in his chest, he pulled away, eyes lowered as he took a shaky breath, glancing back as Rodessa brushed away her tears. Unconsciously he reached over, gently stroking a hand over her head before easing her close into an embrace*

‘Stranger’: *quietly soothing* I’m not here to cause you more pain...you have my word on that. I just...wanted to see you again.

*Rodessa’s gaze slid away from him, silently. She wanted to speak, to say something to him, but the words wouldn’t come. In the end, she could only stare back at him, helplessly silent. With a shaky breath, Huxian spoke instead*

‘Stranger’: Tell me...how long has it been…? How long do we have...until the sands run out?

‘Beauty’: It’s been almost a month...You have two more nights. But you could just tell me no-

‘Stranger’: *Closed eyes, brow knitted* No. No, Roza...Please...two nights...then my answer is yours. But I can’t right now.

*His hand moved to his jacket, resting over where the letter was kept, his voice somehow quieting*

‘Stranger’: ...Honestly, I had no intention of giving you this right now...but I...Perhaps it’s for the best. I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have. You’re far too precious to me.

*The crease between Rodessa’s brow deepened as she watched him draw out the letter fro his pocket, the room a near deathly silent but for the faint crackle of paper. Slowly, he presented it to her, but Rodessa made no move to take it. Taking her hand, Huxian met her eyes with his own aching ones*

‘Stranger’: Please, my lady...read it.

*Pressing the envelope into her hand, he closed her fingers over the edge as he leaned closer, pressing his lips to her knitted brow. A moment later and he was gone, leaving Rodessa alone in the room clutching his letter in her hand.

It felt more as if she held her own death sentence than a letter.

Her gaze lingered on the envelope. It was nothing too different from any other letter if one ignored his seal keeping it closed, but that single envelope contained something that could change everything for them both - could change their relationship forever. That thought alone was terrifying. However...it was better to read it than linger, like ripping off a band-aid, better a sharp sting than waiting for the inevitable. Even if it was him putting her out of her misery.

With trembling fingers, she split the seal and opened the envelope, drawing the letter from inside. Her eyes danced across the pages, her heart racing like a bird’s, almost taking flight with each turn of the page until the end.

Letter slipping from her hands, Rodessa snatched up her mask and bolted from the room. He couldn’t have gone far, could he?

Picking up the hem of her dress she sprinted down the stairs, using her gift as she searched for him, for any hit of his presence, frantic*

‘Beauty’ [Inner Thoughts]: Hue! Where are you?! WHERE ARE YOU!?!

*As she searched, she could still feel the words from the page broaring into her mind*

Letter:

To my dear Rodessa,

I had for some time been thinking how to begin this. I thought perhaps I should begin with how much you mean to me, how you have changed my world since I have come to know you. Yet somehow, it didn’t feel right. To begin in such a flowery fashion made the rest of what I wished to say feel...disingenuous. So instead of superficial flattery, I believe it is best that I be forward with you and speak from my heart.

My love, please, all I ask of you is to read this until its end. And only once you have read everything, make your own choice as to where your mind and heart lie. Because, by the time you have read this letter, you will know the truth. The truth about how I feel about you, about us...and about her. While perhaps you may feel it cowardly that it must be through a letter than in person, I found that I have always found it difficult to find the words I wished to say. For this, I do not want misunderstandings. I want you to know. I want you to know everything. And I want you to be able to understand without my foolish fumblings. By writing them out in such a way, I can put my feelings into words. No matter the outcome, I want you, more than anyone, to know the truth.

It is true that two people have always held my heart - Lihua and, of course, yourself. A love of the past and of the present, respectively. However, my reasons and feelings for both differ greatly. For Lihua, she managed to save my soul from the darkness of my own making, at the cost of shattering my heart. My feelings for her are forever tainted in regret. Once, you asked me about if I would have wished for her to return. However, I believe that if I did, it would only be to right a great wrong, to fix my own mistakes. However, it would only be that - a fix to the mistake of a life being lost that, indirectly or not, was caused by my own hand.

It is quite different from the way I think of you. You managed to find the broken, wreck of a man that was left, and you managed to piece together my shattered self, no matter how grateful I seemed, no matter how much the shards cut into yourself, you piece me back together, and nursed my heart until it beat once again. In you, I never saw a person I was responsible for, who I needed to protect yet failed. In you, I saw someone who could stand with me, who could protect me as I tried to protect you. You became more than a confident. You became a partner, one who I could trust even the darkened cracked sides of myself.

If Lihua was a desire to correct a mistake, in you I desire to see you at my side. I desire a future with you right alongside me.

Perhaps you find this strange. For the longest time, my guilt, the trauma of what happened and my fears of it coming to pass yet again caused me to shy away. My fears of losing someone so intrinsic to myself, the glue that holds me together, caused me to cower from acting upon those feelings, lest I be shattered irreparably by the loss. Stained by my fears, my guilt and the self hate at my failures, I had been convinced that I was unworthy of you. Strange, isn’t it? That I can seem so very confident in everything but this, yet I am well aware of the darkness within me, no matter how much I knew your feelings were worth far more than my ugly doubts. What’s more, even though I tried to stay away to protect you, I only hurt us both. By the time I tried to shy away, it was already too late for that - my heart was already in your hands. Even if I continued to try to push away, should I have succeeded, or you were otherwise gone (the mere thought of you not existing feels like ice in my chest), I am unsure that I could continue existing.

You, Rodessa, are the one that shelters my battered heart, and you keep it from being lost to the abyss. The only future I have has you within it. You are the balance in my life. I think, perhaps throughout my whole existence, you were the one that I needed all along.

I know that sometimes, I appear emotionally...unavailable. I can understand why you feel that I long for a ghost. A part of me can never truly forget Lihua, but not, perhaps, in the way you might believe. The person I am now was shaped because of her actions and her sacrifice. Without her, I would have lost my conscience, what little I had remaining back then. Through her, I relearned compassion, Through her, I remembered the things that I know you love about me. If it weren’t for that, no matter how horrible the experience, no matter how much it once broke me, you might have despised me, my love, that despicable person lost in rage and hate. I would have been a true demon. Perhaps even one you would have been compelled to try to end. Because of that, I cannot forget about Lihua. To forget Lihua, to forget what she did, it would be like throwing her sacrifice to the ground and spitting on it. I can never, should never, forget her, even if I may one day finally be able to shed the cloak of grief and guilt and step into the future.

However, I know it’s cruel of me to expect you to wait for me. I cannot be selfish enough to expect you to put your entire life on hold to cater to old hurts. Even so, if I am to move passed what happened and to be the man you can be proud of, the man you deserve, that can be devoted to you and not split between you and a ghost, It isn’t something that can be rushed. It’s not fair to you. It’s as you’ve said, one cannot compete with a ghost. And I don’t want you to. If I have that time, what I need to be able to make peace with what happened, then what had kept me separated behind that clear titanium wall will no longer hold me back. My heart will be yours with no contest. That way, neither of us will be hurt just staying at each other’s side and both of us can look to a brighter future without being stabbed in the back by the ghosts of the past.

I know that the cliche states that one should speak those ‘three little words’, but honestly, saying them would likely cheapen everything I have said before this. As I previously mentioned, adding such flowers to a letter such as this might dampen the sincerity. As such, I will refrain from saying them. Instead of the words that anyone can say, I want to tell you something I mean from the bottom of my heart.

Rodessa, even if it takes a little time for me to finally forgive myself of my failures, I will still be there for you, whenever you need me. Because even if I’ve held myself back, tried to lock myself away, I still care for you. You have helped to save me from myself. You were the light in my darkness and no matter what, I will forever hold you above any other person living. You are so very precious to me and I hope that I can, one day, show you just how much. No matter what, I want to stay by your side, because you are the home my fractured heart has found sanctuary.

These are the feelings that I have. This is the utmost truth which I have, for so long, been unable to put into spoken word. With this, now you know. Even if your choice is, in the end, to walk away, know that I will still be your friend, and I will still be there for you, whenever you may need me, for no matter what, you still give this life of mine meaning. I can only hope to offer even a sliver of the light you have given to me.

With that, you are free to choose.

Forever yours,

Yin Huxian

‘Beauty’ [Inner Thought]: *Verge of Tears* Idiot! Moron! If I had known…. Hue, where are you! If you felt that way then why…? If you told me earlier…shown me this earlier. I was impatient, I know, but… Hue….we can’t end it like this, right? I still have a chance, right? Right? You’re not done yet! Let me hear the last part from you. Please, my love.

[END]

I'll Close My Eyes So I Wont Hear You Cry Pt 10

In the dull orange of twilight, Rodessa looked like the subject of a painting as she looked out at the grounds, beautiful, yet untouchable. In a way, that is what she was if anyone tried to get close then without her wanting to go to them. Should they close in, all they would do was tear the canvass and lose sight of the woman forever.

But sometimes...sometimes one didn’t need to hunt someone down to catch their attention.

He knew she knew he was there now. Something about him, perhaps the way he, too, seemed isolated as it seemed he watched the flow of the people, but he could see her glance out of the corner of her eye. Trying not to smile and give himself away, he lifted one of the glasses up, turning it in his hand so as to catch the dying light through its surface, and somehow, catching the woman herself within the glass, who had turned slightly now, enough that he knew she was looking.

Pausing in turning the glass, he lowered it a little, allowing himself to meet the young woman’s eyes. He tilted his head a moment, almost as if he had not been expecting or trying to get the attention, before allowing a slight smile to cross his face. Not the wide grins of the people who had been so busy pawing for her attention, but a small, polite one, an offer, rather than a demand, as he tilted the glass in her direction.

Rodessa never did respond well to aggressive attempts at attention from strangers who only wanted her for trivial reasons, or would force their way into her solitude. But sometimes, small, subtle reactions meant just that bit more.

*Rodessa stepped away from the person. With the masks and high class clothing, it was hard for anyone to know who was truly who. All she could tell about the dark haired stranger was that he was male. And that he didn’t seem particularly discouraged by Rodessa’s aloof response. Instead, he stepped over beside her, casually leaning against the balcony, setting down the glass on the banister - a silent offer for her to drink, or not. That done, he gazed out at the grounds, seemingly comfortable with the silence.

Out of the corner of his eye, Huxian could just see her move. A faint ‘tisk’ reached his ears as her hand flicked out elegantly, expectant. Tilting his head, the ‘stranger’ (at least to her) took note of the silent question and handed the amber drink to the cold beauty, before looking back out to the grounds once more, giving her a little time to enjoy the drink, or at least feel as though he wasn’t about to act like the men from before. Finally, Huxian spoke, voice light*

‘Stranger’: Fine evening, isn’t it?

‘Beauty’: Quit the small talk. What do you want.

*Her voice was icy, or perhaps thorny as the points of the flower she was named after, ladened with cold suspicion. Not too surprising, considering how she had been hounded before. Pushing down the flare of irritation at the memory of the slobbering hounds, he merely shook his head*

‘Stranger’: *Gently* Don’t worry. I am not here to court you, my lady, so please fear not the return of lust ladened children. No, I’m merely a messenger.

‘Beauty’: *Eyes Narrowing* If you have a message for my father, then go. If the message is for myself, make haste. The sooner this harrowing night is over, the better. *Sigh* At least-

‘Stranger’: - The view is breathtaking?

‘Beauty’: Mm…

*Her fingers tightened slightly slightly on the glass, staring down into the amber liquid. Finally, she sighed, closing her eyes*

‘Beauty’: ...Your message?

*Huxian reached into his jacket pocket, fingers brushing against the sealed envelope there, preparing to hand the letter over, but paused, letting his hand drop for now. He couldn’t say why but the time didn’t feel right to hand his letter to her just yet. Instead, he leaned against the balcony once more and instead changed the subject*

‘Stranger’: ...Do you not have a paramour, my lady? A woman of your beauty and grace should at least have an escort, no?

*Rodessa scoffed quietly, rolling her eyes*

‘Beauty’: That...that, like the day, will soon end. *Sigh* And like a fool, I patiently waited for heartbreak.

‘Stranger’: ...How long has it been since you last saw him? ...Is it that hard?

‘Beauty’: …

‘Stranger’: *Weak chuckle* ...You know, my lady, I don’t know who you are. We are masked, after all, and whatever happens tonight ceases to be the moment the sun rises, including everything spoken, if you wish it.

‘Beauty’: ...It’s been too long and...we’re out of time. The sands of the hourglass continue to fall and I...I’m running out of the will to hold on.

‘Stranger’: I….I see. You….you’ve fallen out of love...with him?

*Rodessa looked down, silent for a moment, before finally, slowly shaking her head*

‘Beauty’: ...Never. But...it might be time to give up. I would rather….rather it end sooner than drag out. *Mutter* I need to pick up the pieces somehow.

*His own chest aching, Huxian pulled away from the banister, glad for the mask. At least it could hide the strain at his eyes. All he had to do was keep his lips from betraying him, from twisting into something beyond polite.*

‘Stranger’: I...have a letter for you from my master...but I don’t believe it would be right to give it to you right now. *Closing his eyes* No….it would be...meaningless.

‘Beauty’: Ah...so you work for him…

‘Stranger’: Mm

‘Beauty’: Looking away* Hm…

*With a quiet click, Huxian set down the glass, before turning back towards the girl, bowing, one hand behind his back, the other held out to Rodessa. Her eyes flickered in his direction a moment, before sliding back out to the distance. The view truly was spectacular. She could see everything...and yet it seemed she saw nothing at all. Her mask hid most of her features, but her moon silver eyes sang a silent aria. Raising from his slight bow, Huxian caught her chin with deft fingers and parted her lips.*

‘Stranger’: *Seductive whisper* My lady, would you do me the honour of becoming your escort for this night? I would do both the pride of my master and myself as a man a disservice to leave a lady as yourself alone tonight.

‘Beauty’: ...And if I were to refuse.

‘Stranger’: I’m afraid it would do us both disservice to accept such an answer.

*Rodessa’s eyes sparked as she swatted the hand away, though Huxian wasn’t insulted. It was the most light he had seen in her gaze all night. Rather than letting his hand be swatted away, he simply took the hand instead and brought it to his lips, pressing them against the knuckles tenderly*

‘Beauty’: *Coyly* Hm...Forceful men are those I tire of the most.

*Huxian’s lips quirked slightly, scoffing slightly at what he knew to be a blatant lie*

‘Stranger’: My lady, I know exactly what kind of men that draw your eye. Still, it is not a no. Come, my lady, while the night is young.

*While Rodessa certainly didn’t seem overly interested in rejoining the party, she didn’t refuse, either. As such, armed with their classes, they slipped back out from their temporary safe haven to mingle once again. Thankfully they weren’t immediately accosted by the men from before - partly helped by Huxian leading them down a different route from when they had first absconded, instead making their way firstly to the food tables. Considering how disinterested she had been in the party itself and how she had been barricaded by suitors before, Huxian thought she might at least find some interest there, where she could eat (and avoid any annoying conversation if anyone particularly smarmy attempted to start a conversation, while at the same time would allow them to hear what others had to say. Sometimes it helped know who was best to avoid.

The food worked to a point, but it seemed more as though Rodessa was using it as a shield to keep her out of any conversation at all, as if it were a barricade from any of the conversations going on around them. Her expression was dull, almost annoyingly so, that when she got a little cream at the corner of her mouth, he swiped it off with a thumb, jolting her slightly at the boldness, offering a smirk when she shot him a look. Even annoyance was better than nothing.

Of course, even food couldn’t keep people away forever. While Huxian was with one ear listening to how some of the men from before that had been fighting had been escorted out - one annoyance at least cut in half - a couple of people in obviously upper class made clothing decided to strike up conversation. Well, if general snobbery and brown nosing could be considered true conversation. They didn’t seem to get the hint that neither of them were particularly interested, not even minding the fact Rodessa, obviously not paying more than half a mind spoke only in hums, or that Huxian’s responses were obviously non-answers.

In the end, a slightly stuck out foot to trip a passing waiter into splashing the edges of the woman’s cocktail dress finally convinced the to leave after scolding the poor embarrassed waiter. Huxian made sure to mentally note who it was to give them a tip later for the ‘help’.

Once they were gone, Huxian snorted*

‘Stranger’: It certainly wouldn’t have hurt for them to show a little grace. Though I suppose that one can only be so graceful when their heads are pressing somewhere so low.

‘Beauty’: *Small Smirk* We both saw what happened, don't be a ass. The poposity that permits this hall is bad enough, don't you agree? It's almost as bad as that cheap perfume she was wearing. *Flippant* I could have sworn one of the chamber girls wear the exact same-

‘Stranger’: Now that would be an insult to the chamber girls, my lady. They, at least, don’t have necklines which looked as they they were attempting to not only dive for the South Pole but hoped to become a naturalised citizen.

‘Beauty’: *Restrained laughter* Be nice - wait.

*She raised a brow*

‘Beauty’: So, you were looking? As alluring as they are, dear sir, you should show some restraint. Wouldn't want your lust to show. It's what separates us from them.

*She gestured to the few of the men that caused her during the evening.*

‘Beauty’: *Slight tease* But that does get me wondering...does anyone here tickle your fancy? What's your body count?  

‘Stranger’: My lady, the fact that I do not look assures me that they likely have more class than the...ahem ‘lady’ that was speaking at us. I’m quite sure that she was doing her level best to get some form of reaction, if only for a gossip mill. One cannot help but be drawn to looking in disbelief a train wreck, no matter how horrible, wouldn’t you say?

*He glances around the party for a moment, before shaking his head*

‘Stranger’: Those here are merely stars to the sun of my current company, my lady. Not to mention that you do have a sea of personality to the thimble depth of the rest of the room. I see no reason to shoot elsewhere, to pardon the phrasing.

‘Beauty’: My, my I don’t know whether to call you cynical or romantic, truly.  

‘Stranger’: Can one not be a cynical romantic?

‘Beauty’: Pft.

*Rodessa scanned the crowds, grimacing at the outfits worn my a possession of young women parading passed in an effort to gain the young man’s attention. The overindulgent frills, lace and sequins were far too much on the eyes, to the point it caused near physical pain. If the overpowering scent of thickly coated perfumes weren’t enough to make her faint then the shere ugliness of the garments would finish the job.*

‘Beauty’: My eyes burn...She looks like a frilly cake topper! God, did they swim in odor perfume before deciding to gas us with this overpowering scent? Ugh! *Rolls eyes* And where are these girls getting that cheap perfume from? Gods!

‘Stranger’: Hopefully not from gods, unless it was as a cruel trick. Or a new torture method. T’would seem that they think increased potency of cheap perfume is the same as a small amount of expensive. Though if they were hoping to kill off all our abilities to smell, then I believe they have committed quite the mass murder of noses tonight.

‘Beauty’: *Scoff* Before I pass out, would you like to go to the gardens? The smell of actual flowers might fix my nose.

‘Stranger’: Better than suffocating in the gas chamber. Lead on, my lady.

*Rodessa lead the young man out of the room to the wide open stairway that lead down into the gardens themselves. They were well maintained with various shrubs neatly trimmed, the bushes winding into various patterns that were better seen from above, with marble-like stone statues of the classically beautiful, artistically poised between the vibrant flowers. At the centre of which was an intricate water feature, lit up by strategically placed lights. With the sky now a blanket of stars, it seemed to stand out that much more.

The two moved towards the feature before Rodessa lowered herself on one of the nearby carved stone benches surrounded by flowers while Huxian took a seat by the fountain, pretending to look at the sights a moment, if only to give Rodessa a moment to breathe something other than dizzying levels of perfume, though out of the corner of his eye, he could see her expression has become serious while she thought he wasn’t watching.

Considering their earlier topic of conversation, Huxian already had a good idea of exactly what was on her mind, even if the thought caused his chest to clench uncomfortably.

The sound of a clock chiming caused Huxian to look up towards the building once more where a large clocktower overhead struck three am. As his eyes lowered, he caught sight of someone standing at one of the high balconies. Even in formal wear, Huxian knew who it was - Rodessa’s father. He also knew the man himself long enough for Huxian to know without words that his time with Rodessa for the night was over.

Slipping from his resting place, he turned back to the girl and knelt before her, a hand resting on his thigh*

Stranger: My lady, we’re out of time for tonight.

Beauty: Seems so. So, the me-

Stanger: I will not be delivering the letter to you this night, I’m afraid

Beauty: Why? Are you not a messenger?

‘Stranger’: *Smirk* You’ll be attending all three nights of the ball, correct?

‘Beauty’: Yes, but-

‘Stranger’: Until then, my lady.

[END]