Written Memories Pt 12

Dear Diary,

So, this day has been...rather strange. A dear friend of mine has finally returned from banishment, and it seems that, while in the mortal realms, he found himself a wife. She’s quite a good woman, from what I can tell, and is capable of putting up with Susanoo at his worst, so I believe that we will get along well. Of course, Kushinada and Rozyus ended up speaking together - this I’m glad for as my love needs good friends who are not bigoted idiots - which somehow ended up bringing up an old hobby that Susanoo and I share. After being informed that Rozyus was interested in a poem from me, I will admit I couldn’t help but do my utmost to write the perfect poem for him.

I may have been somewhat close to a breakdown, since it is quite impossibly for me to write a perfect poem when I have so many things I would wish to sing the praises about. After all, I am not a god of such arts. Still, Susanoo reminded me of something - the poem does not have to follow rules or even be perfect, so long as it was written from the heart.

I’ll confess, I am….nervous. I wrote my feelings on paper and had a messenger deliver it to him, but even so, is it wrong to feel afraid of rejection when one has already confessed one’s feelings before? I can only hope that Rozyus finds something in the poem that does not disappoint...It has been a long, long time since I have felt so afraid. But for now, I can only hope that my feelings will touch his, and not make him feel disenchanted with me.

*Sitting in their office, Inari leans back from the diary, considering if there is anything else that they should write while trying not to work themselves into fretfulness. It hadn’t been…..all that long since the fox messenger had come back (even if the lick from Rozyus on the cheek - at least the fox had informed them that was the returned message - had at least made them feel Rozyus was at least happy to receive something from them) but even so, that didn’t mean that Rozyus liked the end result, or that, looking back on it, Rozyus didn’t feel the poem was ridiculous in retrospect.

Biting the end of the brush handle, Inari could only hope that Rozyus might want to speak with them in person about their thoughts before Inari managed to reduce themselves into a puddle of anxiety*

Inari: Come on, this isn’t like me….stop thinking about it….

*There was a frantic pitter-patter of footsteps, huffed breathes, and a slamming open of the office doors.*

Rozyus: ‘Nari!!!!

Inari: R-rozyus!

*Inari spun around, blinking in surprise. Rozyus usually tended to lean towards polite knocking before entry, even when Inari had invited him in. At first, Inari felt their heart jump to their throat in worry that something had happened, but before they could even open their mouth to voice their concern, Rozyus had practically flown across the room and in a flurry of excited arms and a curtain of clothing, Rozyus had pounced on them, and a second later, the char they had been sitting on had flung back into the desk and bounced off, sending both of them sprawling to the floor with a yelp*

Rozyus: *Speaking a mile a minute* ‘Nari, ‘Nari! I got it! I got your poem!!! It made me so happy! I know you're busy, but I had to see you! I needed to see you. I could feel your love in your words and I had to speak to you in person, I needed you to know that I’ll cherish your words forever and ever! I’m so happy!

*The boy was talking so fast that he quickly ran out of breath, panting slightly as he finished his sentence. Inari could only stare up at him with wide eyes, blinking, taking in what the boy was saying and feeling themself growing redder as the tarrade finally began to sink in. The boy seemed oblivious to his love turning into a tomato, snuggling close to the young god, repeatedly pecking at their check as his tail wagged profusely.*

Inari: You….you liked it….that much….?

Rozyus: *Flirty eyes* Of course! It’s the first genuine ‘love letter’ anyone's ever given me. And it's extra special because it’s from my beloved, A deity of love that captured my heart. The spell you cast over my heart….well, it’s stronger than ever now! You bewitched me once again with your words. May I forever be spellbound by you, oh great deity.

Inari: *Face crimson* Uh….well, I’m not exactly a god of love….I just…..um…..said what was on my mind...about you, I mean…

Rozyus: *Hmm* It made me happy. I know we're still new at this… sort of thing, but… I’ll do my best to make you happy, so long as you want me. *Cute smile*

*Despite their red face, Inari could only look up at Rozyus, eyes soft and voice sincere*

Inari: Know then, that I will always want you at my side, forever.

*The boys tail wrapped around the god. He rubbed his nose against theirs as the young god  carried the boy to the adjacent room, Inari had decided that there had been enough excitement for the day. After all they were both tired. One from a day’s worth of changing emotions and the other from relieved worry.

They soon arrived at the pre-drawn bed, where the young god gently placed down the boy gently as they slid next to them. The boy skillfully, with practiced hands, removed the young deity's accessories, in addition to their own. They both collapsed onto the cushioned mattress. Snuggling close, the boy was the first one to enter the land of dreams, clinging onto the Child. They were left alone to their own thoughts as they drew the covers close.*

Inari [Inner Thoughts]: Ha….if I’d known that he would react in such a way to my poetry, I would have written something for him sooner.

*A smile on their lips, Inari snuggled closer to the boy, burying their face into the crook of Rozyus’ neck as they allowed themself to finally relax and slip into slumber.

The next day, the two of them were still in high spirits as they prepared for the day, still feeling the after effects of the mood from the night before. As such, it was practically natural that their hands entwined with each other as they left the room, and remained linked as they made their way through the corridor to their various duties for the day, content in each other’s presence.

Their mood was short lived, however. A group of gods had been passing though, happened upon the young couple and were quite vocal at their apparent disgust at the situation, for ‘such actions as to partner with a child of two was unthinkable,’ and ‘unspoken taboo,’ and the thought alone was ‘disgraceful’, the type of actions that would ruin the reputation of any upstanding deity, the likes of that only the one percent could recover from.  The more they spoke, the more the boys eyes became mixed with both concern and regret. They ‘were right after all’ he thought. He slowly let go of his partners hand, as they tried to stand their ground against the other gods; the boy pulled away, shaking his head at the young god. His eyes were now as the day he had met his partner.

Lowering his head, the boy began to move in a familiar rhythm, petals seemed to carry his form away as the young god called out to him. In vain. Inari cursed, hands clenching at their sides, knowing that they likely had started off back at square one. Normally, they would have just ignored the ignorant gods and gone after Rozyus, but they were enraged that these gods thought they could say such things.

With a ‘pleasant’ smile that was about as nice as a poison asp on one’s chest, and an aura of utter rage around them, Inari turned to the gods in question*

Inari: Reputation? Is that all you ever think about? Reputation? Standing? You realise, do you not, that if I actually cared a rats ass about any of those things, I would have destroyed you all so that even a god of life wouldn’t find enough pieces of you to even attend some form of resurrection for even daring to question me about it.

*They stepped forwards, the aura becoming heavier*

Inari: I do, very much hope, that you weren’t planning on having good luck any time soon. I’m afraid, I just do not favour you right now.

*Knowing that one of their duties was over luck, they smile as they turned away, yanking with them whatever ‘luck’ they could mentally grasp from the group and left without another word. After all, while it wasn’t something most believed, there was plenty of rumours going around as to why one did not annoy the Fox God. For now, they would left their curse of bad luck punish those fools. They had someone more important to take care of.*

Voice: Enough. Watch yourself little one, you’ll  very easily fall from grace if you stay that way too long. Besides, to ‘some’ degree they have a point.

Inari: They can ‘point’ all they like. All the better to skewer themselves on it.

*The words were a icy snarl. However, they are not so far gone in rage that they would lash out at one they respected. Instead, they take a few deep breaths and, much like many of their negative emotions, they locked them away under a mental lock and key. Despite this, they narrow their eyes mulishly*

Inari: I’m not giving them luck back until they’ve learned their lesson.

*Disembodied voice slowly took a familiar form in front of the young god.*

Robed figure: And it is that sort of mentality that will be the cause of you losing your divinity and becoming a less than Damned God, then there you’ll never see that boy again. More likely than not, they would send that pup to slay you himself, as a form of twisted punishment on both sides. Then they would slay him, no questions asked. You wouldn't want that, would you, little one?

And like I said, to ‘some’ degree, they were speaking the truth: you may not care about your title but those who worship you do. Without your followers mundane or otherwise you would cease to be. They are your life line surely you understand that. No?

Whether they say it or not, that is the truth, so keep that in mind. Now, saying all that…. Go and fetch him. He’s probably whimpering in the main hall, like an abandoned puppy calling for his ‘Master.’

*Inari bit their lip. Oh, they knew that their existence did depend on those who followed them in the mortal realms, but Inari had never let their personal life mix with their duties. In fact, many who believed in them didn’t have them married or involved with anyone at all (though that might be the confusion of their gender in the first place coming into play). However, Inari knew that the man was right….to an extent. They did not want to become a fallen god. While they could bounce back from it - others in the pantheons close to their own, and even their own had done so themselves - but that didn’t mean the journey was easy. And with what they had been learning from Hero training….*

Inari:....I understand. But even so, it’s just frustrating…..It’s always like this. I just want us to be happy, is that not enough? Why can’t people just leave us alone. We aren’t hurting anyone….

*They pause, hearing the slight crack in their voice at the end and quickly clammed up, forcing the emotions into that locked area of their mind once again before they could cry. Rozyus needed them, and he didn’t need to see that Inari was hurt. It wasn’t about them after all.

As such, they simply gave the Robed figure a bow, picture of respectfulness*

Inari: I thank you for your advice, Lord Thanatos. If you will excuse me.

*With that, they straightened once more and, with all the regal poise they could muster, spirited away to find their wayward lover.*

[END]