Dear Diary,
If someone had informed me when I first came into existence that I would be witnessing events in history many years before I had even been thought of as a concept, I would have been exceptionally confused and disbelieving. After all, I am not a god of time, nor have I ever been a Seer. Yet, here I am, in the past, thanks to Mother. It was a surprise to me to think that Mother is capable of this. After all, weaving the world to its destined path does not make one think that it would involve time travel to the past, but I have come to learn, in my short existence, that underestimating one of the Elder Gods is akin to denying existence itself. Therefore, in order to preserve my sanity, I have decided to not give this much more thought beyond keeping myself in check to prevent a paradox and, thus, avoiding Mother’s wrath.
One might wonder why it is, then, that I am, in fact, in the past at all, if all it might do is cause a paradox. It would seem that Mother wishes for me to learn something, something which involves what I once thought were two people in a fable that warns gods about the fragility of our existences, and the consequences of becoming corrupted and becoming Fallen. As such, I am, as of now, posing as a newly created minor god of harvest, under the tutelage of Master Chizohara, one of those very gods from that fable.
Master Chizohara is a very harsh, but capable teacher, and I’ve been learning much from him in the ways of battle. It is rather surprising, however, Master Chizohara has claimed to me, in his worry that I might Fade due to my newness, that this is the only way that he thinks I might be able to keep myself alive long enough to gain followers in this time. Though I have to admit, it is so strange to actually be taking on more muscle and edging closer to a masculine form - I’ll need to consider this in my transformations once I return.
...I’m not pouting. Don’t give me that look. And yes, I’m aware a book has no eyes!
...Shut up.
Anyway, I was sent back in time to witness things. Training was more of an afterthought, a reason for other gods to overlook my presence in this time, and training with Master Chizohara was to allow me to witness the fable in real life and learn from the event.
It...worries me. I’ve come to like Master Chizohara, and yet, knowing how the fable ends….
No, I can’t interfere. As much as it mains me, I am an observer here. It is not my place to change the past. Not including Mother’s threat, to change events here could bring an even worse future, and I cannot do that. As such, I must steel my heart and take a step back to record only what I witness.
It would seem that Master Chizohara has something of a….not following, exactly, but has several gods whom he sees to be in close acquaintance with. When not working closely with each other, or simply spending time together, they act as a unit. I could imagine that, in battle, they would make for a specialised task force. They seem to get along so well, in fact, that they seem to trust each other without question. It makes me wonder what it would be like if some of the pantheons could work together so efficiently that way, it would certainly prevent the unrest that sparks up occasionally, but I would not hold my breath. These people have been through so much together that expecting a full pantheon to do the same would be impossible. In a way, it might also be somewhat unwise, as well. After all, sometimes unrest is required to prevent stagnation. Or the continuation of stupidity. Survival of the fittest, so to speak. This level of faith in each other could keep one stable, or drag everyone into darkness.
I wonder if they know this? I know that they have certainly seen the changes in Master Chizohara lately. There is certainly a discrepancy between the one I met and the one I see now. He was first very focused on my training, caring to make sure I had the best chances in the world and even introducing me to others - well, introducing Kazuomari, as I’ve been called while undercover - however, of late, I’m wondering if he’s even aware of my existence. His companions have expressed concern in his distraction, distance, flashes of temper or listlessness. However, unless they have managed to do it during times when I’ve needed to sleep before I simply pass out, none have truly confronted him about it. Are they trusting him, thinking he will tell them when he’s ready, perhaps?
What is worse, is that it is not only those in the Unit that have noticed, but others as well. No, perhaps it is to say that because they are not blinded by love that they have noticed what the group has been missing. Other gods have been pulling away, either through fear, anger or distrust in the inconsistencies in Master Chizohara’s character, or are insulted by his sudden dismissiveness. Unlike myself, a ‘minor’ god here, others are gods of higher standing, even higher than those whom I’ve shown anger to in the past. But for gods, being dismissive and snubbed can sometimes be far worse that hair tempers. What I’ve done in the past has been forgiven as products of my youth, of a being with too stronger power for my age and, while it takes a little bending of pride on my end is usually forgiven in the end. Master Chizohara, however, is older than myself, and is not even attempting to smooth over the hurt prides of the gods the way I tend to once calmed.
Because of the anger of the stronger gods against him, it is influencing some of their followers as well, and with that, I’ve certainly noticed the change in his power, becoming weaker and more unstable.
I understood before this concept, hence why I tend to apologize later, even with the situations when I lose my cool about Rozyus. Now it feels like Mother is rubbing it in a little. I get it now, I hope you’re happy….Cause I’m not. It only makes me want to scream in helplessness. I just want to protect Rozyus, dammit! It makes me wonder if all of this is simply to tell me to give up, but is it not a god’s duty to at least attempt to help others? Not that I’ve done a good job at that, either….
Dammit….
But no, feelings have no sway here. Focus.
With the gods becoming incensed with him, and his friends unwilling to confront him about pulling away...This isolation in Master Chizohara...I don’t see this as the best way to help. But it’s possible that I’m only so apprehensive because I know the outcome. It’s not the same for them.
I can only swallow back the despair of knowing what will happen. The only question now is how soon.
*It has been several months since Inari, under the name ‘Kazuomari’, was brought to the past and, while ‘he’ still got curious glances, the young god had got to a point that ‘he’ was more or less ignored and could walk through the halls without being stopped or interrupted. This certainly helped when ‘he’ needed to keep an eye on Chizohara and Mirah, as Parame had insisted. As such, ‘he’ had carefully followed Chizohara (something that also became increasingly easy as his own situation worsened) to Mirah’s room. The older god had, in his distraction, left the door open slightly as he had approached his lover, who is laying on a large bed, pale as death. If not for the movement of Mirah’s chest, Inari would have thought them dead.
Making sure not to be seen, Inari slips into the plane of existence that Parame set aside for the and carefully observes the situation, trying to remain as impartial as possible.*
Chizohara: Mirah…. I’ve returned. *Cups Mirah’s face*
*Chizohara, gently kisses Mirah’s lips. A faint, divine light leaves Chizohara and is absorbed into Mirah’s body. After a moment, the effeminate looking man begins to stir slowly, awakening.*
Mirah: M-Master? What are… What happened to you? I thought that I….Oh….oh no...What have you done…?
Chizohara: *Shakes head* Please, don’t worry about it. This is nothing. Compared to the hardships that you’ve faced-
Mirah: Please, Chi...Master! You shouldn’t waste your presence on one such as I, a lowly servant. Not like this….Please….Please look at yourself….
*Cups Chizohara face with both hands, thumbs brushing near the other’s eyes, as his own darkened with concern.*
Mirah: Idiot….you’re Falling….Falling from grace...and it’s all my-
Idiot. Your falling…. Your falling from grace and it’s all-
Chizohara: No! No, It’s not…. When all’s said and done, this was - Is - all my fault… Your injuries, your torment, the constant abuse by other gods... And even the fact that you won’t be taken by other gods…. But…. but, my love, I can’t stop loving you…. *Screwing eyes shut as he holds onto Mirah’s hands tightly, an almost sob in his tone* Damn it... Why…? If only we could live together in peace… then this love wouldn’t hurt as much as it-
*Mirah pulls his hands away from the other god, breaking Chizohara’s words. The other god blinked, watery eyes meeting Mirah’s, who had closed his own. Taking a deep breath, Mirah seemed to be coming to terms with something in his mind, before finally meeting Chizohara’s eyes once again. While to the untrained eye, Mirah seemed indifferent, Inari could see something like a grim helplessness in the ailing one’s gaze*
Mirah: Love….love should never hurt in such a way….As much as we wished for otherwise, it always was a fantasy that we might have gained such an idyllic dream as a reality…..but the reality is that...I am your servant, and you, my master. And a dream is always destined to fade as reality sets in once more. And in reality, while I am your most devoted servant, I could never be allowed to become your wife. While we have shared a bed as a mistress, I could never gain the station to stand at your side. Play time must end now...your toy must be put away once more. The innocence of childhood must end. The fair maidens await you.
Chizohara: What are you Saying!!!! Besides I-
*Mira began to cough violently, sputtering thick red blood into his hands. Anger extinguished in an instant, Chizohara’s voice chokes off in a cry of worry, concern practically rolling of him in waves. However, Mirah does not allow him to help.
Mirah: Get out...Take a long cold shower and wake up….
*Barely audible whisper* Before its too late….
*Enraged and slightly shaken, Chizohara rose from the bed, gathering himself. He casts one last, long look in Mirah’s direction, frustration and despair in his eyes before finally, hands clenched and screwing his eyes shut, the man storms from the room without another word. Mirah stares at the door for a few moments, bringing their knees to their chest as the world began to blur and hot tears began to rain.*
Mirah: *Crying* I’m sorry, my love….. But this is the only way i can think to save you… Please, abandon me, denounce our love while you still have what’s left of your sanity. Before my voice can no longer reach you...
*Staggering out of the room, Chizohara leant up against a pillar, huffing slightly, before collapsing to their knees.*
Chizohara [Inner thought]: This can’t go on. Idiot Mirah…. Telling me to give up on us when it looks like you’re about to cry….. You’re probably crying in there right now… but I can’t wipe those tears away yet… But soon. I promise I’ll figure something out….
*it seemed more than a chore, dragging his leadened limbs back to his chambers. Collapsing into a heap onto his bed, Chizohara drifted off to sleep.
A few moments passed and Inari slipped back into Chizohara’s chambers. The sight of the god was truly a horror show, the rapid decline of divine presence... his aura fading. While not a god of healing, Inari was certainly not a heartless god. To see someone so in pain like this and to do nothing….While Inari knew they couldn’t interfear, and they knew that true healing was something beyond them, they couldn’t prevent themselves from approaching, reaching out slightly in hopes to, at the very least, ease some of the suffering. However, before they could touch him, a hand moved to stop him, gentlely folding their outsretched fingers into a fist under theirs and pulling it back. Freezing, Inari was finally able to yank their gaze away, looking up to see Parame was gently pulling them back against her*
Parame: No, little one. Remember, your role here is to observe. Nothing more. *The understanding tone hardened slightly, tone darkning* Understood?
*Inari didn’t bother to fight against her hold, dropping their gaze, partly ashamed that they had been caught out, partly helpless as even to ease the pain was denied of them. Once more, just as with the situation with Rozyus, Inari felt helpless, their eyes burning with unshed tears*
Inari: ...I….I’m sorry….I….never realised how hard it is and….He…..he’s going to….
*Parame gently ran a hand over the child’s hair, though whether as a comfort or in a gentle restraint, it was uncertain*
Parame: I know. I know…. From here on out, this will not be pretty, but it is your duty to see this through until the end. You’ve yet to learn the lesson you were sent here for. When you return, you’ll be wiser because of it. But you must be patent, and don’t interfere.
Inari: I know…Even so….why? It feels almost like the lesson is that gods should never love….that love is punished….Its….its cruel….
*Their voice cuts off with a sob they tried to restrain, any fight left in them gone. Pulling the disparaging child close, Parame cradled the younger god in her arms, tight against her bosom, stroking their hair as they lost the fight against tears, dissolving against her until, eventually, drained, Inari, cheeks tear streaked and energy spent, falls asleep in her arms*
~~~
*A fortnight came and went, and Chizohara’s condition seemed to worsen, while the opposite for Mirah’s. Some of the gods began to whisper, whispers turned into loud voices expressive discontent, blaming eyes seemed to penetrate the servant's back as he worked. Finally, he pressed some of the now distant servants for answers. Chizuhara was Falling from grace fast. The divine light, present in all gods, was now barely a flicker, his eyes and voice seemed somewhat demonic, his nails resembled that much closer to a wild animal that a man’s. Mirah did everything to reverse the damage, but the task seemed pointless. The god was far too gone to reverse the process now.
The gods seemed to be out for blood - one of their own was rapidly becoming disgraced. They demanded justice for one of their most beloved god. Mirah was jailed and beaten to a near catatonic state. They wanted Mirah’s head for causing such a taboo in one so favoured and a plea to the high council was issued.
A season rolled around and there was no denying it further. Chizohara had Fallen.
There was a mass panic amongst the gods out of fear, the other gods isolated themselves… Only those who worked in tandem with Chizohara refused to be apart from him. In an attempt to prevent him from becoming completely rabid and bestial, they sacrificed themselves, deciding to fuse their souls together and joining with the god’s own in an attempt to save him, but it barely seemed work. And thus, for the safety of the other gods, isolation and imprisonment was their best option until a ‘plan’ could be formed. This plan would satisfy the wrath of the gods and insure that the fallen deity would be saved. But the cost would call for two more sacrifices. And so, the time came….
A robed god unlocked the door to Mira’s cell, eyes seemed devoid of any light that once graced their face.*
Executioner: *Sigh* It’s amazing that someone like you managed to survive this long. Well, they say that it’s hard to kill vermin like you. I suppose it’s down to his aura still living on inside of you. But that all ends today. There is only one way for you to save him, and I think you know what that entails.
*Mirah’s eyes sparked back to like if only for a moment as they gazed upon the divine sword in the Executioner's hand, with the realisation of what the god was implying.*
Mirah: *Defeated laugh* So...it’s come to this, huh? I had just hoped it wouldn’t…. No, I suppose that was just wishful thinking….
Executioner: *Stern look* …..
Mirah: But it’s fine… let’s end this… once and for all.
Mirah [Inner thoughts]: This is one fight we can’t win, love…. We lost the day we fell for each others charm. You’re suffering now because of my love for you…. So let me take the burden away, once and for all, so you won’t have to suffer any more. This time will be nothing more than a forgotten dream and you will be at peace.
*Mirah was escorted into a large arena type room, walled with gods protected by various wards, barriers and charms. In the center crawled a rabbid humanoid beast. It crawling on all fours, growling deeply, bound by chains. Though its tones were hostile, it was watchful, not yet moving to strike, as if scouting its prey.
Mirah remained stoic, walking up the beast. A few feet out of its reach, he sat down, crossed legged, staring into its eyes; remorse, self hatred and empathy ran though his heart. Tears threatened to fall, but but he held them back somehow.*
Mirah: Good morning, Master. It seems you didn’t heed my warning…. Knowing you, you probebly didn’t want to hear it at all… now look at you…. Why do you never listen to me…? Love, why didn’t you fall for another? You could have spared yourself from Falling! Why did you love me so….? Why wasn't I able to save you in time….?
*The beast whines, attempting to step forward, but unable to due to the chains around their body, shaking their head. Mira stood up, tears falling they gripped the sword the executioner had given them.*
High Council Member 1: ….Mirah! Servant of the god formerly know as Chizohara, you are accused of disgracing a god.
*The spectating gods seemed to curse, and throw rocks in the direction of the servant, which seemed to agitate the beast.*
Mirah: ……
High Council Member 2: We ask: how do you plead!!
Mirah: *Eyes never leaving the beasts* Guilty. I’ll atone for my sins and cleave a path for my Master to return to grace. As I fall to hell, this will be proof of my devotion to you…. I’m truly sorry for causing you pain…. But it will end here… just…. Just wait a little longer.
High Council Member 3: Disgusting…
High Council Member 4: It is decreed that former servent Mirah will slay this beastial form of former god Chizohara. With this, he will be able to reincarnate and rise to godly status once more. He will forget all lingering attachment to the wretch that caused him to Fall and former servant Mirah WILL be put to death, for both the crime of defiling a god and deicide.
Mirah: *Eyes closed* I accept my fate without incident.
*The beast seemed more agitated by the servants acceptance of the gods words.*
Mirah: It’s fine. This is how it should be, Master Chizohara.
*Hidden from many people’s view, though able to watch over the event taking place, Inari, expression somewhat blank, might seem to an outside observer as almost statue like. However, since their talk with Parame the day they had attempted to ease Chizohara’s suffering, they had done as asked, not getting involved. When the Former God’s friends had fused with Chizohara, Inari had retreated, spending more time within the other plane of existence to observe, to keep themself impartial, and only going to the real plane when they had to, or were reminded by Parame. As such, they were able to watch without anyone pushing or shoving them as they clamored for the death of Mirah and the ‘purifying’ reincarnation that would occur with Chizohara. They had long lost the energy to rail against what was happening, feeling somewhat numb at this point as they took in the final moments of what they had once known as only a fable*
Inari [Inner thoughts]: So, I guess this is the end of the tale, huh? I suppose I can see why Thanatos was telling me I needed to be more mindful...It’s stupid….the whole thing is stupid and…..I should care a lot more…
*They finally move, rubbing a hand over their face. After everything, they just felt tired*
Inari [Inner Thoughts]: Was this what I was supposed to get? That Rozyus and I….could never be together? Or should give up? Or was it that this was a punishment for me in the end? But….whatever it is….it’s almost finished. And then…..*They close their eyes* I’m just tired…
Older Parame: *Sigh* You're still thinking JUST like them and that is why their story ends the way it does. And I told you to watch till the end their stories far from done yet.
*Inari’s eyes open again, too tired and overwhelmed by everything else to even flinch at Parame’s sudden arrival*
Inari: *Quietly* ...I know...
*Below, the executioner had moved away, leaving only Mirah before the best that had once been Chizohara. Despite the form he now took, it seemed that even corruption had not, before then, dulled the god’s mind to not realise what was going on. Enraged at Mirah’s acceptance, at the calls for blood, at the entire situation, the beast lost whatever calm it had. Roaring with enough power to shake the very foundations of the colosseum, the Fallen thrashed against its bonds, wrenching them from the very earth itself sending divine metal crashing through the air in shattered fragments. The second its limbs were free it launched itself in a flurry of pure Wrath, its gaze focused less on Mirah and more an wanting to end the lives of all those that had called this fate upon them.
However, that was it’s fatal mistake.
Determined to save whatever was left of the one they loved more than anything, Mirah raised the divine blade, at peace with their decision. Chizohara would be saved, no matter the cost. With the beast distracted, it was easy to see the openings they needed to end it as painlessly as possible. With the beasts lunge at the gods, Mirah plunged the blade deep into the heart of the beast*
Mirah: *Choked up voice* My love…. I’m sorry… i’m so sorry…. Please forgive me….
*the beast’s eyes looked down at Mirah, a low beastial grouwl amlost sounded like it was trying to sound out the servant's name before it collapsed to the ground, crimson liquid pooling where its body lay.
The servant walked towards it reaching out to cup the beast face. But, as they were almost about to touch, another bladed weapon pierced through the servant's flesh, one after another after another, until the the servant to fell to his knees, Mirah’s gaze never leaving the beast’s now glassy eyes, one final sound of piercing flesh ripped the servant's soul from his body. A doorway to hell seemed to open. Only for it to promptly shut once more. Two enraged voices seemed to echo throughout the coliseum, silencing the cries of the other gods. Startled out of their numb stupor, Inari could only watch, wide eyed, at who had interrupted*
Young Parame: *Furious tone* You fool! What is the meaning of this… look at what you’ve done!!!! You truly believe this was necessary ‘justice’ that this would heal your fallen kin?!!!!
Thanatos: …. To think, you little rats take life in such a way…..*Dark almost demonic tone* How dare you destroy these children in such a way. How dare you push them to this extent…. Who gave you the right to destroy these innocent lives….? Everyone present today will be punished, make no mistake about it.
Young Parame: *Unconsolable crying* Chizi-chi, Miri-chi…. My children…. My sweet children….
Younger gods: This…. This was too cruel…. Why wouldn’t you have just let them alone….? Damn and when we found a cure as well…. Mother….. Damn, damn, damn…. The hell…. Damn it Chizo, Mirah…. Gone... they’re really gone….
High Council Member 1: Mirah… committed a crime. While Chizohara will be spared, Mirah will not be. If you don’t agree with him being punished in hell, remove his soul from this plane. Let him not able to interfere with us again…
Young Parame: …. You dare...to give me orders?
Thanatos: Insolent brat….
*Without a word between them, both Thanatos and Parame raised their hands, swinging down they simultaneously cut the devin threads that supported the lives of the high counsel. Faint bells could be heard dropping and so too did the high council, each member lay dead before the two elder gods.*
Thanatos: These souls...It will take some time. For Chizohara….for this soul, I should say, given perhaps an eon, this soul will be whole once again. On the other hand, for Mirah….given the extent of the damage….it will take a miracle to recover, assuming there are even enough pieces left to put together once more...
Parame: ….Yes….
*A storm of energy seemed to surroundIng air as they watched the events unfold, time and space seemed to bend before them again. To an all too familiar garden, he could see Parame pouring ashes into the earth and planting a seed deep into the earth, over the years that to the young god felt like seconds the small seedling grow into a large wisteria tree, the surrounding area remaining mostly hidden and untouched, until a small child came running in, they seemed to be hiding from someone. But finally relaxing once they reached the tree.*
Inari: *Wide eyes* Wait….that….looks like…..
[END]
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