“Reawaken…?” Rodessa blinked, as if that word alone had cut through her rising panic. “Wait, you...you’ve said that before. What are-”
Crap.
“I…” Huxian started, before stamping on the urge to blurt out everything. He couldn't. It….he couldn’t. Not now. He’d already said far too much. But if he said nothing, it would only serve to make things worse.
He compromised.
“I…” he licked his lips, before pressing on. “Not yet. I can’t say yet but...just...this isn’t the first time. You’ll...you’ll know soon enough.” Straightening, he locked eyes with her. “You said that if you can’t see, hear and touch it, you wont believe its true, right? What would you do if there was something I could show you, right now, to prove to you what you saw, what I’m saying, is all true?”
Not even waiting for her answer, he pulled himself to the bedside table and grabbed the Pandora issue devices that all agents were required to wear, if only so that, should the worst happened, there would be records of the agent’s fate. Quickly, he connected it to the communicator and began to type rapidly, searching through the file to find something that would guarantee she would know to be true - ah, engagements with the Jiangshi before he exhausted himself tossing foxfire and putting up barriers - finding out he was capable of using magic, never mind being a mythical fox might be too much right then. That done, he raised his gaze back to her, expression determined.
“They say seeing is believing,” he told her. “Prepare to believe.”
With that, he hit send.
----------------
He knew the moment she got the file - the faint pinging sound of a received message from Rodessa’s side of the line cutting off any kind of response Rodessa might have had. She looked at him, almost searchingly, but Huxian said nothing more, simply nodding for her to open it. Carefully, he searched her expression as she shifted her focus from his face to whatever part of the scene she was looking at as she opened the message and loaded up the recording and the first screeching note of a recorded scream cut through the silence.
He knew from the sounds alone what Rodessa was seeing - after all, the recording was from his own personal body cam. He could hear his own voice snapping orders, when he encountered a Jiangshi, tearing victims away from the creatures and tearing them apart.
“This… Hue, what is…? No… Hue, what is this what was that thing!?”
He could practically see the blood drain from Rodessa’s face as she watched, knowing enough about how Huxian worked to recognise that this wasn’t an elaborate prank, but part of a real mission. And he knew the moment denial hit her in an effort to maintain some kind of grip on reality, to reject the idea that her partner faced monsters, that they truly existed.
“Wait! No!” Her fingers tightened on the communicator. “Stop pulling one over me!” She snapped, shakilly. “I-it's not funny! I'm already playing mystery hunters here! I-” A piercing scream cut off her words and breathy moaning groans, utterly inhuman could be heard as the scream cut off with a sickening tearing squelch.
“Oh gods!” her voice shook, weaker than Huxian hadn’t heard it in a long time, hands covering her mouth as her eyes were utterly riveted, horrified at the images before her. “H-Hue…” she whimpered between laboured breaths. “Hue?!”
She was moments away from a panic attack, her breaths sharp and so loud he could hear them even over the horrific sounds of the video, enough he could even count them.
Closing his eyes, he sighed, pushing away his own memories of the scenes. He wanted to comfort her, to tell her it was just a trick and it wasn’t real. But he couldn’t do that. He had to make her see the truth before it got her killed later. Even if each whimper and each yell felt like a physical wound to his heart. But if Violet wouldn’t sit her down and make her see the truth before tossing her to the sharks then it fell to him.
Heh...his hands were already stained with the blood of that he cared for. A little more, metaphorical as it was, couldn’t make his hands any more crimson than they already were.
Taking a breath, he opened his eyes, composed once again.
“You know I’ve never been interested in horror movies, Ro,” he reminded her gently.
She looked up at him, the words tumbling from trembling lips as she finally attempted to form a coherent sentence. “You… you could have fooled me with this…” she waved a hand at the scene with an almost nervous laugh. “It looks like found footage from one of... Those...those,” She waved a hand, unable to finish the sentence. Swallowing, she looked around wildly before grasping at any rational for what she was seeing. “Is this the reason why your back home?” she accused finally. “Is this your cover as you clan stuff just a lie to-”
Huxian shot her a dark look. “You seriously think I would spend all this time, drain myself to the point of exhaustion and have people - my people at that! - get hurt just so I could pull of an elaborate lie? If you think that is the case you obviously don’t know me as well as you think, Rodessa.”
“I’m Sorry, I-!” Backpedaling, panicked, she flinched away from his anger, looking almost like a child, the one he used to know, the one who used to fear his hatred if he were to say the wrong thing. His heart sinking, aching at the croaking tone and the glistening of tears beginning to spill from her eyes. “...I’m sorry…”
She might apologize, but you know it’s true, a tiny, nagging voice reminded him. She doesn’t know you, not truely. She only knows whatever you’ve shown her. She doesn’t know anything about what you truly are.
Unnerved, Huxian lowered his eyes, clenching his hands, feeling his nails dig into his palms.
“I’m not like that,” he finished weakly.
The utter silence, the lack of a response, just made him feel worse. No wonder she would accuse him of lying like that. Even if it was a wild stab in the dark, he had lied by omission. Was it any wonder that she might think him capable?
Wrapping his hands around himself, he sighed. “No….I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I shouldn’t get mad at you. This is entirely new to you, it’s only natural you wouldn’t just accept something like a recording just because it looks real. I was being unfair. I just….” he swallowed, forcing himself to look at her face once more. “I want you to live, Roza. I don’t want something to get the drop on you. Not ever. Especially not something like this. I should have told you sooner…”
For a moment, he could have sworn he saw the child she once was as she swallowed and shakily spoke. It was almost as though he could hear her, even under the voice of her adult self, until it was hard to separate the self she was now from the small child she once was.
“Is that why you're always leaving me…? ” She whispered, obviously connecting some of his ‘missions’ that he could only go alone on. Her brow knit further as she bit her lip, her voice lowering, as if speaking the truth any louder would somehow shatter him, or perhaps shatter herself. “I’m scared Hue,” she whispered. “It...it’s all too real...it's not normal…” she pressed the heel of her palm to her eyes, trying to suppress the tears. “I just want to go home…” she sobbed. “I want to go back! I want to just go back home to you and Mr Fluffington, to a normal life! This...this its too much! I know your angry with me, but I can't fight these… things! How am I supposed to shoot a ghost, yokai, whatever to want to call these monsters?! Hue… I'm scared...”
Biting his lip, for the first time in the entire conversation, words failed him. He could only watch, helplessly, as his partner hugged herself, tears streaming down her cheeks. Dammit, why was all of this making him feel like the bad guy? He didn’t want to tell her this, but he had to. He had to…
Taking a breath, drawing his courage, he spoke, finally. “If thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee.”
Noting the hitch in the girl’s breath, he elaborated. “You yourself said that you fight the human ‘monsters’, and have even said that you, yourself, are one,” he reminded her. “In all honesty, the creatures of the mystic are often given power from the human mind, be it their emotions, their fears, their beliefs. Whether I showed this to you or not, you would be forced to face these monsters, be it now, or in the future, when you meet a ‘human’ monster who is not so human after all.”
He leaned forwards. “You’ve already stared into the abyss, Ro. It will always stare right back. And if you want to fight a monster, you send in monsters. That’s why they send me on missions like these. And that’s why Pandora picked you, too,” he smiled weakly, “That’s what we both are, right? You said so, yourself.”
He leaned forwards, trying to get across to her his belief, his determination, hoping that at least that might help her. “Listen. The reason I’m showing this to you now it to prove to you that, yes, they exist, but they can be fought. I fought them, didn’t I? I’m still here. And unlike me, you won’t be alone in it, either. Because you have the partner they assigned….and...well...I’ll always come back to help you when you need it. I always have. You’ll never have to be alone in this, Ro. I promise.”
She looked up, searching his expression and….wow, that look in those silver eyes...she really did look like that pup used to... “But you’re alone,” she bit her lip. “Y-you’re alone, right? And I...I never knew... I-”
“Maybe I’m just that much more of a monster,” Huxian pointed out, a somewhat sardonic, self-deprecating smile flicking on his lips. “You don’t need to compare it to my situation, Roza. And I’m not alone. You’re talking with me now. That helps a lot more than you’d think. It reminds me of why I should keep fighting, you know,” he smiled. “I have someone waiting for me to come home, after all.”
Her cheeks felt warm as is eyes softened. Just that simple gesture seemed to melt away all the anxiety she felt. His voice felt like silk, a sweet tone that seemed to lull her back into a calmer state.
“Who’s waiting for you?” she joked, a grin twitching at her lips as she flicked her hair. “Who’s waiting for this beautiful creature, strong and proud? Surely not someone like me. I can’t even deal with a so called ghost.”
Ah, that humour. So, maybe the image of the pup he lost was gone again, but at least her spirit seemed to have been ignited. “You’re a lot more capable than you think,” Huxian reminded her. “Who can resist those charms of yours, sweetness?” He winked, blowing her a kiss, before becoming a little more serious. “Ghosts were once people. All you need to do is figure out their motivations. Sometimes just getting into their heads is all it takes. But, you know, if you need help, you can always ask. But if it helps, I totally believe in you, Noir!”
“You have more faith than I do,” Rodessa chuckled, shaking her head. “Next you’ll be saying gods exist too.”
“Well, you can call me a god if you like….” Huxian purred.
He sent a mental apology to the actual gods, should they be listening in, though it wouldn’t be the first time he was thought of as some godly figure. Or perhaps demonic figure would have been a closer fit. But….perhaps it was best not to clue her in on that just yet. Better for her to at least get used to the idea that folk tales might be a little more than just stories for now.
“Seriously, with the way your fan girls-”
“Miss Hunter, you are late! your late! We had an appointment scheduled for ten minutes ago,” from somewhere behind Rodessa a young, yet well spoken voice snapped, ringing through the halls as if the very air itself vibrated with it and the door opened in what would have been a bang if performed by anyone with a lesser upbringing
“Whoops…” Huxian muttered as he noted the child-like woman storming into view. Clearing his throat, he glanced back to Rodessa. “Ah, it seems we’ll have to pick this up at a later date, rose bud,” he noted,“My apologies for keeping her, Miss Pouvel.”
The woman stopped short at the sound of his voice, her composure snapping back into place. “Ah, Monsieur Yin, good morning. I have been informed of your present situation and have made arrangements. Additional agents should be at your location within a week. I have taken the liberty to provide them with equipment that should help to bolster your teams offensive capabilities, and…”
Rodessa looked utterly dumbfounded, Huxian noted, even as he listened with a practiced half ear to the Pandora leader’s update. It was almost as if she had just stood on a nail and was only now realising that it actually hurt. Though perhaps it was less the realisation it was real that pained her at this moment, and more actually hearing the kind of situation he was in, especially after seeing the video. Combined, it threw in her face why they had to be apart right then. She didn’t have the training necessary to help him. She certainly didn’t have the heart to face them the way he did.
Ah, Ro…
Shaking off the thought, he turned his attention solely back to Violet Pouvel once more.
“Much appreciated, my lady. Although there is another matter I wish to discuss with you, when we next have the time.” His eyes flicked towards Rodessa pointedly.
“I see,” Violet cupped her cheek, eyes narrowing a little. “I was under the impression you would be reading the reports.”
The smile he shot back was all teeth. “Oh, I am,” he purred. “However, I have some….questions, regarding your methods. Amongst other things.”
“...Very well then,” Violet sniffed primly. “I shall see you acquire the full report then. Until this evening, monsieur.”
“I can’t wait,” his grin twitched a little wider, before softening into something a little more natural as his gaze landed on the other. “And Roza?” He met her gaze with his own, tired, yet warm.
“Good luck.”
Moments later, the picture cut off, leaving Huxian to stare at the home screen of his communicator. With a sigh, he dropped the phone onto the bed, transforming back into his fox form as he rested his head on his paws, ears folded back in worry. There was so much going on that he couldn’t be there for. But fate would do as it will, whether he was there or not. For now, he had his current responsibilities to attend to; his concerns could wait until morning.
[END]
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